YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
We need to rekindle our bromance
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
