I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize