Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
