Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
