I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
