I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
