even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
