You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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