Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
i now understand why vodka
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
