i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
