i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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