Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
