i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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