Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Princesses don't give blow jobs
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
