i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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