I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
