How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
