I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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