dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
