You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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