I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize