I want to stick my p in your. b.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
