Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
