My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
PANTIES FOUND
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