Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
