bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
