Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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