chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
