this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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