I wannas sexs uuuuu
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
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