so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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