maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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