At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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