I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
