I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize