video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize