I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
