yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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