We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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