Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
