Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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