Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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