"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
