Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
