My brain says no but my pants say off.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
