I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize