So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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