Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
