Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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