We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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