She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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