When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
