I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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