I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
