What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
