Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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