you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
