words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Randomize
