Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
just tell him i said nine months
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
