Where is the hickey?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
