i think my tv is drunk
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
