dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
