Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
