apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize