Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
