She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
