I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize