I think my fart just growled at me.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
