The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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