Having a random hookup so left but love u
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
