New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
My bed smells like the plague
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
