Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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