nut hugger
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Hippo gnu deer
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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