Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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