i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
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