I wannas sexs uuuuu
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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