why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize