jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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