I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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