R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
