Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
