Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
