I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
