That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
