Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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