I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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