I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
