I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
