Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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