Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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