Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
