Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
