is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
